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Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory
This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Do This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Don’t let the cute faces fool you, it’s HARD to get a toddler to stay still and a newborn to not cry🤣 But we snapped a couple gems, these two quite literally light up my life💖 http://liketk.it/34ldF
Just love this little Christmas corner with all of Just love this little Christmas corner with all of our stockings🌲🥰 Anyone else getting snow tonight!? I’m excited! I love the snow and I love seeing the magic in Luca’s eyes, he just lights up over the littlest things and it makes this season so much brighter for us✨
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I linked everything I could in the @liketoknow.it app or head to the link in my bio for my blog and holiday home decor post with all my winter home inspo❄️ http://liketk.it/345gU
Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more prepared for recovery this time and it’s going a lot smoother. I shared some of my postpartum favorites/must haves in stories today as well as on the blog (link in my bio)! ⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Also shared some tips I wish I knew the first time around like to not feel ashamed to ask for help or guilty for taking care of myself. That’s my biggest tip —⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I can’t stress this enough. It’s the norm in our society to focus more on the baby than the mom but during the fourth trimester she needs care and attention now more than ever. You can’t take care of your baby without taking care of yourself first❤️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Some other postpartum tips:⁣⁣⠀
🌿take all the pictures and take pictures with you in them, they will be absolute treasures to look back on, especially the ones where you look like crap (I promise you don’t actually look like crap, it’s real life though, which are the best to look back on)⁣⁣⠀
🌿you may not know what you’re doing but listen to your instincts, the mama instinct is strong and it’s REAL⁣⁣⠀
🌿take home all the things from the hospital (pads, disposable undies, abdominal binder, all of it)🙌⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If you are postpartum after loss you’re still postpartum but it’s even harder without your baby. Cabbage leaves, peppermint essential oil and a tight sports bra to help get rid of your milk supply. Find a grief counselor and a support group, validation and acknowledgement is everything. I’ve been there and it’s the literal worst, be gentle with yourself. You are still a mother❤️
📷 @jessicamicciophoto
How I’ve eaten dinner for the past 6 weeks😂 I How I’ve eaten dinner for the past 6 weeks😂 I basically live in this spot from the hours of 5pm to 10pm, either nursing or calming the babe — toddler not pictured but equally as demanding🤪 — cluster feeding is hardddd!! I know it doesn’t last forever. I know I will miss these days. It’s still hard. And nope, don’t need to supplement, milk supply is killin it. More encouragement, less unsolicited advice. Sometimes we just want to voice the struggles without being told what to do✌️
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Christine Covino

- The Blog -

New Mom Holiday Gift Guide

November 24, 2020 / Gift Guides, Mom & Baby

This post may contain affiliate links.

New Mom Holiday Gift Guide

I had a blast putting together this list of holiday gifts for the new mom! As it is my own first Christmas as a mom I really tried to look for items that I would love and that would be both special and useful. If you’re a mom you know the name of the game is functional, multipurpose but also chic, and that’s exactly what I went for with this guide!

I think any new mom would greatly appreciate the items on this list!

Babywearing is one of my favorite things about having a newborn. There are so many benefits of babywearing. Check them out here! I always want to remember this summer, the first summer with our brand new baby boy. Read this post for our 2018 summer recap!

1 // Solly Baby Wrap

We lived in these Solly wraps with my first, it was the only place my son would nap peacefully and now with my second they’re saving us again during the witching hour and when I need to be multitasking (aka wrangling my almost three year old, doing household tasks, going food shopping — total lifesaver!). Plus, little tip, if you’re at an event or out somewhere and you don’t want people touching baby, put him in this wrap and there’s nothing for people to touch/they won’t even ask!

I love these wraps because the material is super soft, has the slightest stretch and is breathable but still keeps baby warm because he’s so close to you. It truly mimics the womb which is perfect for providing feelings of comfort and security to newborns. Then just figure out how to nurse in it and you’re golden!!

USE CODE CHRISTINE20 FOR 20% OFF YOUR ORDER THROUGH 11/30!

2 // Emotional Support Aromatherpay

Anyone know a mama who might be needing some extra emotional support? That’s one of my main reasons for diving in head first with oils, that, swapping over to a toxin free home and organic gardening/pest control. But for real, during the most difficult year for our family these oils helped bring me back to life and I truly think anyone, especially the new mom who is adjusting to a new dynamic, would greatly benefit from this support!

Also, if you already have oils I would suggest making the new mom a cute and useful DIY Spa Kit! Check out my easy glow serum recipe here or head to my Instagram where I share more ideas and recipes like sugar scrubs, room sprays and bath salts!! Throw in a gemstone roller and some calming crystals and you’ve given the gift of both aromatherapy and relaxation that she will for sure love, now she just needs some alone time! Can anyone gift that to me please!?

But for real, scents like peace & calming, stress away, valor, joy, white angelica and gentle baby have all been super supporting emotional for me. All the relaxing, stress-free vibes for the new mama!

Click here to learn more and grab your starter bundle with me — that just means you’ll get your Young Living lifetime membership (like Costco but no fees) and you’ll get me as your mentor (which I would be honored to be)!!

3 // ABLE Tote or Backpack

I have been using this diaper bag since day one (well for our three out of the house trips so far hah) with Elora and I have to say it’s worth every penny! The quality is gorgeous and the backpack style is both sleek and convenient. Inside has all the pockets you need to organize your baby and mama goodies! I also love this two-tone Rachel Zip Tote, it would make a great gift for any mom!

USE CODE CHRISTINEBF30 FOR 30% OFF YOUR PRURCHASE!

4 // Blossom & Pear Baby Book

I love this beautiful and simple journal for the new mama, it’s nice to not only write down baby milestones but also record how mom is feeling <3

USE CODE OHBABY20 FOR 20% OFF!

5 // Birth Flower Prints

Anyone else love flowers? You’ll love this shop and what they offer if so! Birth flowers are the flowers representing the month you were born (like birthstones). This mama-owned shop will make you a custom print of flowers representing the members of your family (including angel babies if you wish) to create a totally unique bouquet or wreath! We absolutely love our print and will be framing it for Christmas!

USE CODE 20CCWREATH FOR 20% OFF!

6 // Barefoot Dreams Robe & Slippers

Wow this robe you guys😍 SO GOOD! I don’t know about you guys but I love a good robe and slippers set, especially while breastfeeding a newborn and recovering from a c-section! Barefoot Dreams is the softest material I’ve ever felt and any new mom (hint hint, Alex – ME! haha) would be thrilled to receive this as a gift!

7 // Kindred Bravely Pajama Nursing Set

I just got these pajamas a few weeks ago and I have been LIVING in them. I can say they are truly the SOFTEST ever! They also have a convenient panel that just flaps up conveniently for nursing or pumping moms! Again, all about my things being beautiful, good quality and functional!

Use code COVINO20 for 20% off your order on the Kindred Bravely website!

8 // Milk Maker Swag

I think this tee is awesome! Also the shop owner Lindsay is a badass, she works super hard at normalizing breastfeeding which I love so much!! And she just came out with a Christmas ornament and mugs as well YAS! I live in comfy tees and sweatshirts these days, why not get fun mama-themed ones for the new mom?

9 // Milkmaid Goods Gifts

This cover is hands down one of the most useful new mom items I received. I use it as a car seat cover, shopping cart cover and nursing cover. I love when items are multi-purpose, especially as a new mom because who wants to carry around 57 things for all different tasks!? Plus this brand uses buttery-soft material and has a bunch of different patterns to choose from!

I also love Milkmaid’s mommy and me robe sets, diaper bags and housedresses! Such great quality and keepsake pieces that would make great gifts in my opinion!

10 // Silver Wren Necklace

I absolutely love love love this shop. The necklace I have from them is one of my most prized possessions, You can get all of your children’s birthstones and hand-hammered letter charms. She even makes angel wing charms which I love, I have two for my miscarriages and one for Liam. This shop has all different gorgeous options, personalized jewelry is the way to any moms heart for sure.

11 // Dwell & Slumber Housedress

I have literally been living in my Dwell & Slumber housedresses! I need like 17 more colors please haha. My favorite style is the cocoon, I shared mine on IG stories the other day and you guys loved it also! I think both the dresses and/or robes would make a wonderful gift for the new mom — they’re comfy, cozy, made of THE softest material ever, provide easy access for nursing, and they’re beautiful so you feel good but don’t need to put effort into getting dressed while just home with your babe! D&S also offers baby swaddles, gowns and hats so you can match if you want!

12// Fox Blossom Curated Gift Boxes

I received one of these beautifully curated gift boxes after having Luca and it felt so special. I was so in love with the company I’ve started sending different ones for special occasions to friends and family over the years! I love the convenience of ordering online but they customize the boxes and hand-pack them for a homey and personalized feel which any new mom would love — especially this zen spa themed box (pictured above)!

 

13 // Milk Bliss Lactation Cookies

Lactation cookies are always the way to a new moms heart. Functional AND delicious, plus you can sign her up for a subscription so she never has to think about reordering – the gift that keeps on giving!

14 // Spanx Faux Leather Leggings

You guys know how much I love these leggings! So I won’t bore you BUT they are amazing, especially postpartum with their high compression/control top (high-waisted as well). The sheen is very subtle, making them perfect for dressing up or down – again, multipurpose, LOVE IT. I recommend sizing up one! They are seriously the bomb.

15 // iRobot Roomba Vacuum 

Roomba has been a lifesaver for us! We have a dog that sheds BAD so vacuuming should really be done everyday but who has time for that? Not a new mom that’s for sure. So the gift of cleaning is one of THE BEST things you can give a new mom! If you can’t afford to gift a robotic vacuum like this then maybe offer to come clean one time for her! It would be more appreciated than she could express! All different retailers linked below.

16 // Silk Eye Mask and Pillowcase

Because new moms need good sleep more han anyone but they rarely get it. Along with diffusing essential oils, I’ve found sleeping on my silk pillowcase and using an eye mask when possible helps keep me more rested especially when Im waking 2-3 times a night feed the baby!

17 // Chewable Charm Silicone Teething Necklace

I have this necklace and wear it frequently, it’s easy to incorporate into any outfit because of the neutral colors and cute design! Plus it keeps Luca occupied while I hold or carry him and he grabs it while he nurses which keeps him semi-focused!

USE CODE BLACKFRIDAYSALE FOR 30% OFF

Extra New Mom Holiday Gift Ideas

I had some other quick suggestions if you are in need of more unique ideas! One is to make a gift basket out of a few of these items, it’s always special to receive a beautifully curated and displayed basket of goodies.

A Target or Amazon gift card is always greatly appreciated (anyone else an #amazonmom?).

Dropping off a home cooked meal or getting them a food delivery service is also always so appreciated, I know meal times were (are) always the hardest so any help is super appreciated! You can do a GrubHub gift card or check out this site – A Spoonful of Comfort – they make homemade soups and send out homey (and delicious) food boxes!

A flower subscription for the lower lover would brighten up any new mama’s day, I’ve been wanting to try out Farm Girl Flowers! Or a Coffeys or wine subscription, yes please! I also think an in-home massage or chiropractic service would be amazing! It’s sometimes hard to leave the house but if someone could come to you… game changer!

Another great gift idea for a new mom would be simply to help her with the home – stock the fridge, make a few easily-reheated dinners, clean the house, entertain the toddler/older children, leave fresh flowers around. Sometimes it’s the simplest gestures that make the biggest impact!

Thank you for reading my post, I hope these ideas holiday gifts for the new mom helps!

Shop My New Mom Holiday Gift Guide below

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Instagram

Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory
This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Do This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Don’t let the cute faces fool you, it’s HARD to get a toddler to stay still and a newborn to not cry🤣 But we snapped a couple gems, these two quite literally light up my life💖 http://liketk.it/34ldF

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