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Focusing on things that are within my control. Cur

Focusing on things that are within my control. Current mantra and form of self care🙏🌸⠀
⠀
For me right now it’s helping a ton to focus on planning our garden. It’s keeping me busy and happy, in between playing with my boys of course. But maybe most importantly it’s keeping me sane. I can control what we grow, how we grow it, where we grow it etc.⠀
⠀
This year we’ve chosen to grow much more veggies, not as many flowers, in our raised beds. It’s not going to be easy, it takes a lot of planning, mapping and coordinating (and elbow grease) but we’ve decided it’s what’s best for our family.⠀
⠀
I’ll be taking you all along for the ride and sharing as much info as I can because as I’ve seen from stories today, A LOT of you are in the same boat!! We are going to be starting seeds later this week and there’s already a post on the blog all about that (link is in my bio!).⠀
⠀
We are in this together, stay tuned for more blog posts, stories and maybe some lives on gardening this spring🌿

☣️ STOP ☣️⠀ ⠀ We have to act NOW to sa

Social distancing, not social disconnecting💗 Sp

Social distancing, not social disconnecting💗 Spent this morning doing different toddler activities with Luca, all of which lasted a whopping 3 minutes each. We tried😂🤷‍♀️ Watched some Pete’s Dragon (Luca’s current fave) and FaceTimed with Mema and Bapa before nap time. Then spent the afternoon outside in the yard soaking up some vitamin d☀️
.
It’s a very weird, uncertain time and I’ll be the first to admit I’m extra anxious. BUT I’ve been working on my mental health for months and I’m not about to let anxiety win now. So I just want to say to you, do what you have to do right now. Our kids are going to be home for a few weeks at least, will it be hard? Yes. Is it an inconvenience? Yes. Is it a privilege to be able to stock up, feed your kids and stay home? Yes. Will big, difficult moves like this save lives? I’m betting on it. It’s not the time to put more pressure on yourself to be the perfect mom. There’s NOTHING wrong with strict schedules and homeschooling, I’m just saying be gentle and kind to yourself. Your kids need YOU, not a version of you you think you should be. Try new learning and play activities, sure, but also know screen time and independent play is perfectly ok, especially now.
.
Lean on your loved ones (virtually), check in on your older neighbors, thank nurses and doctors, get off social media if it’s too much and ground yourself somehow (yoga, meditation, gardening, tele-therapy, devotionals, music, dance parties, actual “grounding”/walking barefoot in the grass! etc.). Just my two cents😉
.
Take care of YOU, mama. And stay well. Sending all you rockstars my love❤️❤️ #flattenthecurve #toddlermomlife #yogurtmustache

Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart. Just be you.

Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart. Just be you. ~ @brenebrown
.
Took this photo in Nashville not knowing if/when I’d use it, but today seems pretty perfect!! Happy International Women’s Day✨ Proud to be part of such a BADASS community of women💪💪 I love my tribe and I love sharing my story to hopefully to inspire and empower other women out there, but guess what? YOU ALL are the ones who inspire and empower ME on a daily basis🙌 Love you ladies so much and I’m so grateful to have all of you cheering me on💗
.
Tag any badass, inspiring, empowering lady below who you want to send a little extra love to today! Women who inspire me are tagged in the photo💕 #internationalwomensday #comesitwithus #loveyourjourney

This never happens!! My favorite jewelry brand @le

#prayfornashville 🧡 . We visited Nashville just

#prayfornashville 🧡
.
We visited Nashville just two weeks ago and it stole a big piece of my heart. I was devastated waking up to the news this morning hearing about all the destruction, people displaced from their homes and people who lost their lives. I shared a few ways you can help/donate over in my stories and tagging the accounts here as well, praying so hard for you Nashville🧡🧡

To my new and old friends alike I just want to say

To my new and old friends alike I just want to say thank you💗 Thank you for being here, for coming here, for stopping by, for sticking around my little corner of Instagram. For following my motherhood journey. It has been beautiful and it has been tragic. It is different everyday. It’s not picture perfect, I don’t have all the answers, but it’s my story. It’s what I know and it’s what I share. Whether you just follow me here, whether you know me in real life, or both, you always get 100% transparent, unapologetic Christine.

So I guess I just want to say thank you for being here. For hearing what I have to say. Your presence alone makes me feel loved. I love you all right back and I always look forward to our discussions in stories and in comments.

Thank you especially to everyone who commented on or reached out about my last post, whether you knew what to say or not you put in the effort to acknowledge my vulnerability and I deeply appreciate that. None of us are perfect but we are trying our best and we are learning to be better everyday.

What I shared in stories today was not to make people feel bad but to offer a new perspective to those who maybe have never experienced intense grief like this, and to validate it for those who do experience it.

We can all always have a little more empathy, we can all tell a little more of our truths. You never know who you are helping by telling these truths or sharing your story, even if it is just one person it was worth it.

And I truly believe that was part of Liam’s legacy for me. I miss my baby with every cell in my body and I would much rather have him back than advocate for loss/grief. However, I am immeasurably grateful to have known him for the 18 weeks he was in my belly. He was my second son and he has profoundly changed me. And that gratitude grows daily✨

This should be a bump pic💔 I should be 34 week

This should be a bump pic💔

I should be 34 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

I should be putting the finishing touches on Liam’s nursery.

I should be installing a second car seat.

I should be publishing a blog post about what’s in my hospital bag.

Instead I can only imagine these alternate realities, because my baby died.

This is my reality.

I’m feeling empty this week, both physically and emotionally.

And exhausted. Grief is exhausting. It can be so complicated and heavy.

Not a Friday goes by that I don’t think of what week I should be. I’m acutely aware of the milestones. Everything that should have been.

I try to let these thoughts and feelings in, acknowledge them, and let them go. It’s easier said than done. It’s taken a lot of therapy and meditation, and it no, it doesn’t always work.

I still have days where I’m a literal non-functioning mess. I try my best to cope but sometimes I just need to be fully under my rain cloud.

It’s fucking hard. But it’s ok to fall apart. It’s good to acknowledge the hard feelings.

If you too have experienced baby loss I am so sorry. It’s a shitty club to be a part of, nothing I or anyone says can take your pain away. But I can relate and I can validate your feelings.

The ptsd is real, the anxiety is real, your feelings matter, your story matters, and

YOUR👏FEELINGS👏ARE👏VALID👏

Be gentle to yourself.

And if you know a mom who has ever lost a baby, check on them tonight. No matter how long it’s been. Let them know you’re thinking of them, that you don’t have the words but you are sending them your love❤️

Murals galore in music city, when in Nashville rig

Murals galore in music city, when in Nashville right!?🙌🤷‍♀️ Bonus, swipe for my hot mess toddler posing like a boss🤣🤣 #whatliftsyou

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Focusing on things that are within my control. Cur

Focusing on things that are within my control. Current mantra and form of self care🙏🌸⠀
⠀
For me right now it’s helping a ton to focus on planning our garden. It’s keeping me busy and happy, in between playing with my boys of course. But maybe most importantly it’s keeping me sane. I can control what we grow, how we grow it, where we grow it etc.⠀
⠀
This year we’ve chosen to grow much more veggies, not as many flowers, in our raised beds. It’s not going to be easy, it takes a lot of planning, mapping and coordinating (and elbow grease) but we’ve decided it’s what’s best for our family.⠀
⠀
I’ll be taking you all along for the ride and sharing as much info as I can because as I’ve seen from stories today, A LOT of you are in the same boat!! We are going to be starting seeds later this week and there’s already a post on the blog all about that (link is in my bio!).⠀
⠀
We are in this together, stay tuned for more blog posts, stories and maybe some lives on gardening this spring🌿

☣️ STOP ☣️⠀ ⠀ We have to act NOW to sa

Social distancing, not social disconnecting💗 Sp

Social distancing, not social disconnecting💗 Spent this morning doing different toddler activities with Luca, all of which lasted a whopping 3 minutes each. We tried😂🤷‍♀️ Watched some Pete’s Dragon (Luca’s current fave) and FaceTimed with Mema and Bapa before nap time. Then spent the afternoon outside in the yard soaking up some vitamin d☀️
.
It’s a very weird, uncertain time and I’ll be the first to admit I’m extra anxious. BUT I’ve been working on my mental health for months and I’m not about to let anxiety win now. So I just want to say to you, do what you have to do right now. Our kids are going to be home for a few weeks at least, will it be hard? Yes. Is it an inconvenience? Yes. Is it a privilege to be able to stock up, feed your kids and stay home? Yes. Will big, difficult moves like this save lives? I’m betting on it. It’s not the time to put more pressure on yourself to be the perfect mom. There’s NOTHING wrong with strict schedules and homeschooling, I’m just saying be gentle and kind to yourself. Your kids need YOU, not a version of you you think you should be. Try new learning and play activities, sure, but also know screen time and independent play is perfectly ok, especially now.
.
Lean on your loved ones (virtually), check in on your older neighbors, thank nurses and doctors, get off social media if it’s too much and ground yourself somehow (yoga, meditation, gardening, tele-therapy, devotionals, music, dance parties, actual “grounding”/walking barefoot in the grass! etc.). Just my two cents😉
.
Take care of YOU, mama. And stay well. Sending all you rockstars my love❤️❤️ #flattenthecurve #toddlermomlife #yogurtmustache

Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart. Just be you.

Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart. Just be you. ~ @brenebrown
.
Took this photo in Nashville not knowing if/when I’d use it, but today seems pretty perfect!! Happy International Women’s Day✨ Proud to be part of such a BADASS community of women💪💪 I love my tribe and I love sharing my story to hopefully to inspire and empower other women out there, but guess what? YOU ALL are the ones who inspire and empower ME on a daily basis🙌 Love you ladies so much and I’m so grateful to have all of you cheering me on💗
.
Tag any badass, inspiring, empowering lady below who you want to send a little extra love to today! Women who inspire me are tagged in the photo💕 #internationalwomensday #comesitwithus #loveyourjourney

This never happens!! My favorite jewelry brand @le

#prayfornashville 🧡 . We visited Nashville just

#prayfornashville 🧡
.
We visited Nashville just two weeks ago and it stole a big piece of my heart. I was devastated waking up to the news this morning hearing about all the destruction, people displaced from their homes and people who lost their lives. I shared a few ways you can help/donate over in my stories and tagging the accounts here as well, praying so hard for you Nashville🧡🧡

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