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Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
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If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
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Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
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Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
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Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
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2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
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I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
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In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
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1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
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3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
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5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
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6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
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7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
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8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
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9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
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10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
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You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
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At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
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I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
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#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
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Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
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The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
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So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
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To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
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Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
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If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
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So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
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Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory
This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Do This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Don’t let the cute faces fool you, it’s HARD to get a toddler to stay still and a newborn to not cry🤣 But we snapped a couple gems, these two quite literally light up my life💖 http://liketk.it/34ldF
Just love this little Christmas corner with all of Just love this little Christmas corner with all of our stockings🌲🥰 Anyone else getting snow tonight!? I’m excited! I love the snow and I love seeing the magic in Luca’s eyes, he just lights up over the littlest things and it makes this season so much brighter for us✨
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I linked everything I could in the @liketoknow.it app or head to the link in my bio for my blog and holiday home decor post with all my winter home inspo❄️ http://liketk.it/345gU
Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more prepared for recovery this time and it’s going a lot smoother. I shared some of my postpartum favorites/must haves in stories today as well as on the blog (link in my bio)! ⁣⁣⠀
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Also shared some tips I wish I knew the first time around like to not feel ashamed to ask for help or guilty for taking care of myself. That’s my biggest tip —⁣⁣⠀
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Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
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I can’t stress this enough. It’s the norm in our society to focus more on the baby than the mom but during the fourth trimester she needs care and attention now more than ever. You can’t take care of your baby without taking care of yourself first❤️⁣⁣⠀
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Some other postpartum tips:⁣⁣⠀
🌿take all the pictures and take pictures with you in them, they will be absolute treasures to look back on, especially the ones where you look like crap (I promise you don’t actually look like crap, it’s real life though, which are the best to look back on)⁣⁣⠀
🌿you may not know what you’re doing but listen to your instincts, the mama instinct is strong and it’s REAL⁣⁣⠀
🌿take home all the things from the hospital (pads, disposable undies, abdominal binder, all of it)🙌⁣⁣⠀
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If you are postpartum after loss you’re still postpartum but it’s even harder without your baby. Cabbage leaves, peppermint essential oil and a tight sports bra to help get rid of your milk supply. Find a grief counselor and a support group, validation and acknowledgement is everything. I’ve been there and it’s the literal worst, be gentle with yourself. You are still a mother❤️
📷 @jessicamicciophoto
How I’ve eaten dinner for the past 6 weeks😂 I How I’ve eaten dinner for the past 6 weeks😂 I basically live in this spot from the hours of 5pm to 10pm, either nursing or calming the babe — toddler not pictured but equally as demanding🤪 — cluster feeding is hardddd!! I know it doesn’t last forever. I know I will miss these days. It’s still hard. And nope, don’t need to supplement, milk supply is killin it. More encouragement, less unsolicited advice. Sometimes we just want to voice the struggles without being told what to do✌️
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Christine Covino

- The Blog -

New Mama Must-Haves

September 12, 2018 / Mom & Baby

This post may contain affiliate links.


New Mama Must-Haves

Okay mamas! Let’s talk about all the things that kept me sane during the first few months postpartum, AKA my new mama must-haves.

A couple of weeks ago I shared all my favorite Newborn Essentials that I loved for the early days with Luca and now it’s time to spill my new mama secrets. Because when it’s 8am and you’re already covered in puke (and probably poop), you need a little pick-me-up… or a giant glass of wine with breakfast. That’s acceptable right!?

Here’s a list of some of the things I’ve loved in early motherhood. My mama must-haves range from nursing staples to postpartum healing tools, to practical and comfy clothing, to beauty must-haves that will make you feel pretty behind allllll that spit-up.

If you’re looking for more reading I have two great posts going into more detail on C-section recovery (CLICK HERE) and tips for nursing while recovering from a C-section (CLICK HERE).

New Mama Must-Haves: Nursing

A good nursing bra

(1N) is a serious lifesaver. You will be popping those puppies out every couple hours (slash every 30 minutes if you have a cluster-feeder like I did). I LIVED in these Kindred Bravely sleep-style nursing bras day and night for the first few weeks. Then I started wearing the Marvella everyday nursing bra when I had to go out and be a presentable human. Their nursing tanks are also incredible! Use Code COVINO20 for 20% off your order (works either on Amazon or directly on the KB site!)

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!
Kindred Bravely sleep-style nursing bra and underwear set picture here. I lived in these bras day and night in the early days and still wear them to bed now.

Reusable Nursing pads

I loved the reusable nursing pads because they are super soft and in all honesty, more comfy on my beat up nipples.

Lansinoh Lanolin

Your nipples can get pretty torn up during the first few weeks of nursing, even to the point of cracked and bleeding. Mine got to the point of a cracking but luckily never bled. I used lanolin to help calm the soreness and heal the cracks. BUT here’s a great tip: even more helpful than this ointment was rubbing breastmilk on them and letting them air-dry. I no joke walked around/sat there topless until they dried. That was a tip my doula/lactation consultant gave me and it legit worked better than any balm or ointment ever did for me!!

Nook nursing pillow

This pillow was attached to me, I seriously took it everywhere because it was so comfortable to nurse with it! I loved that the materials were organic and it provided a bigger surface area for the baby than the boppy nursing pillow.

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!
I was seriously obsessed with my Nook nursing pillow; much better than the Boppy in my opinion, and worth every penny!

Haakaa suction breast pump (150ml) 

Yes, you will need an actual pump but this contraption was more for releasing some milk pressure, especially in the middle of the night when I would wake up engorged. Or I would put it on the opposite breast from what I was nursing on to catch the letdown. The best part is it’s NOT a manual pump, you suction it right on and it gravity does the rest. This little thing is so efficient I could get up to 5oz. in a few minutes!

Medela Pump in Style and these extra parts

I luckily got my Medela pump through insurance, (which you should too if they offer it!), but the extra parts are KEY so you’re not washing like a crazy lady after each session. I bought two of these extra sets.

Kiinde Breastmilk Storage Starter Set 

I found these pouches to be the easiest for milk storage both frozen and in the fridge. Also, Luca took right away to this nipple, we started him on it at 5 weeks. He’s been getting about one bottle a week since he was that age and has never had an issue!

New Mama Must-Haves

Oat mama bars/snacks/homemade food

I was/still am hungry ALL. THE. TIME. Even more than I was during my pregnancy! Snacks like bars, fresh fruit, nuts, and granola were my go-to’s and homemade meals from friends and families got us through those first few weeks. I still snack on my Oat Mama bars almost daily, use code COVINO for 15% off your order!

Yeti 30oz Rambler

Nursing moms need to drink alllllllll the water!! If there’s anything I notice about my supply its that it is directly related to my water intake. The one piece of advice I can give you about increasing your supply is to DRINK MORE WATER! And have a good water bottle/cup on hand to make you remember!

New Mama Must-Haves: Beauty

Makeup Must-Haves

I don’t know about you guys but for me, the tiniest bit of makeup can make me feel human again. I recommend Tarte Shape Tape (1B), I use the shade ‘light sand’ to conceal those tired-mom under eye circles. Then add a dab of this Stila Cheek Tint in shade ‘Lilium’, or the Beauty Counter Cheek Tint in shade ‘hibiscus’, to give your face a little life. If I was really feeling fancy (and had a couple extra minutes) I would throw on my Beauty Counter Tint Skin (3B) to even out my skin tone (I use shade is ‘linen’) and also some of my favorite mascara.

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!

This Revitalizing Chlorophyll Face Mask was a go-to for me. It detoxifies your skin via microcapsules of phytonutrients (one of which is actual chlorophyl which I think is super cool) and I noticed more radiant skin after just one use. PRAISES!! Because dang does nursing literally suck the life out of you!

Hydrating Face Mist

My skin has been extra dry since having Luca/starting nursing. On top of investing in a bunch of hydrating serums and moisturizers, I tried (and loved) this Hydrating Face Mist. It was super quick and easy to spray on throughout the day if I needed an extra boost of moisture!

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!
Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!
Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!

Lip Balm

Word to the wise: get a good lip balm (or seven like me)! My favorites are this Sugar Lip Treatment by Fresh or this Lip Conditioner by Caudalie.  My lips were soooo chapped! Maybe it was the cold weather or maybe it was from how draining nursing is, either way, lip balm was a necessity!

Dry Shampoo

Because you will go days without washing your hair. Dayssss.

Dry Brush and Body Oil

This could also be listed under postpartum healing as well! My legs were extremely swollen for about two weeks after my C-section and the doctors recommended dry brushing as a way to reduce the swelling. Not only did it feel great but the oil smelled amazing and it definitely helped!

New Mama Must-Haves: Clothing/Accessories

Baby Wrap

I honestly don’t know what I would have done without my wrap! Especially during those early days when Luca was extra fussy and wouldn’t let me put him down. I absolutely LOVE babywearing and will do it for as long as possible. My favorites for newborns are my Solly wrap and my Tuck & Bundle wrap.

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!
Tuck & Bundle wrap pictured here.

Freshly Picked Diaper Bag

My absolute favorite diaper bag on the market! Not only is it chic, it is also super functional – the set up is super organized with all it’s internal and external pouches. It even doubles as my everyday purse it’s that cute and functional!

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!

A nice nursing nightgown

Or this super soft nursing pajama sleep set was also essential – early motherhood is all about comfort! I highly recommend trying the Dwell & Slumber dressing gown too if you can catch them in stock!

Joggers or comfy sweats

I needed the softest and loosest sweats during the early days because everything irritated my incision!

Compression Leggings

Especially these belly bandit compression leggings! I loved how they made me feel put together – they are super high-waisted and smooth you out in all the right places!

Eventually, I started wearing these Spanx leggings and I will say they are expensive but they are my favorite to date and I’m looking forward to breaking them back out this fall!

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!
Pictured here are the Kindred Bravely Marvella Bra and Belly Bandit Mother Tucker compression leggings

Robes – Luca was born in the winter and I just loved the extra coziness of a good robe! I wasn’t into bulky robes because I needed quick, easy access, but these all did the trick – try this Pinkblush Robe, this Nordstrom Robe, this other Nordstrom Robe or this one.

Calming Scents – Get a nice candle or essential oil diffuser! I am a firm believer in scents/essential oils for creating moods and atmosphere. There are a lot of trying (stressful) moments in early motherhood and diffusing oils/burning candles with calming scents helped me tremendously.

The Baby Book by Artifact Uprising

Take my advice, do your child’s baby book! I purchased this before Luca was born and I think it is the most beautiful one on the market today. I am so happy I have the memories tucked neatly and beautifully away in this book.

Coffee

Alllllllll the coffee!!! Because NO. SLEEP.

New Mama Must-Haves: Postpartum Healing

I decided to add a section specifically about healing because C-Section recovery is NO FREAKING JOKE. I also included some items for vaginal healing because I was prepared for a vaginal delivery and purchased all the things beforehand.

Kindred Bravely C-Section Panties 

These would also be good for vaginal-delivery moms. They are SUPER soft and high waisted, never irritated my incision. I used the mesh undies from the hospital for about a week and then switched to these. Use Code COVINO20 for 20% off your order!

C-Section Scar Away Strips 

I started using these as soon as all my glue fell off. Side note, if you can choose how your incision is patched up go for the glue!! I had zero issues with my incision healing, it came off super easy and my scar is barely visible now!

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!
This essential oil was my saving grace, I would put it in the diffuser daily. I still use my stress away rollerball whenever I need a dose of calm! Also pictured: Bellefit corset, KB C-Section panties, Frida Mom Washer and Earth Mama Sitz Bath.

The Bellefit corset

This corset worked wonders for me. I started wearing this at three weeks postpartum (for the first three weeks I used the hospital-provided girdle which was AMAZING, especially with recovering from a C-section). I purchased two (one XL and one L) like they recommend because I eventually shrunk enough and needed the smaller size. This corset 100% aided in healing my core. It made me feel more “together” when I really felt like straight up mush. Use code CHRISTINE20 of $20 off your order!

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!

Maternity Pads or Depends

For some reason, during my postpartum healing, I was allergic, or at least extra sensitive, to all pads! These pads were the ones from the hospital and were the only ones I did not have a reaction to. I couldn’t do the depends because of my incision but I would have otherwise!

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!

Breathe Mama Breathe by Shonda Moralis

I needed this mindfulness reminder! You will love this book too. I took about 5 minutes to myself each day to read a little bit of it and it was so helpful for my mental state.

The Fourth Trimester by Kimberly Ann Johnson

This book was extremely validating and comforting. I was so thankful for this book as well as the great Facebook and Instagram mom communities I found.

Postpartum Sitz Bath

I purchased this because it had great reviews, I did not need it but would recommend it for vaginal-birth healing.

Earth Mama Peri-Spray

Great reviews on this one too!

Okay mamas! My new mama must-haves are right here on the blog! We're talking everything from nursing staples to postpartum healing to simple beauty hacks!

Fridababy Momwasher

Yes, I had a C-section and I STILL LOVED this spray bottle! It just makes you feel fresh and clean because – real talk – the bleeding is A LOT. Also for vaginal deliveries, it helps to spray warm water down there the first few times you pee! Its ergonomic shape makes it super easy to use too!

Laxatives/prune juice – These are an absolute MUST. In case no one has told you yet, you’re going to need some help with that first poop. It’s like birthing another baby. You’re welcome.

Bonus Tip!

Take these items from Hospital for yourself: girdle, maternity pads, maternity underwear, dermoplast, witch hazel wipes. I even asked for more the day before we were leaving the hospital. The nurses were more than happy to provide us with the extra goods!

And take for baby: hospital blankets, diapers, wipes, ointment packs, brush.

Shop My New Mama Must-Haves

I linked all the items possible. If you don’t see an image below scroll up to wherever it is linked above (in pink). You got this mama!

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Trackbacks

  1. Luca at 8 Months - Christine Covino Baby says:
    November 6, 2018 at 4:33 pm

    […] haven’t written a Luca update in a while, really since my Newborn Essentials and New Mama Must-Haves posts a few months back (which are both MUST-READS for sure!!). I am also publishing a post next […]

    Reply
  2. Newborn Essentials - Baby - Christine Covino Blog says:
    December 9, 2018 at 4:59 am

    […] In case you missed it, read Luca’s birth story here and stay tuned for my New Mama Must-Haves post coming to the blog next […]

    Reply
  3. 16 Ways to Comfort Your Colicky Baby - Christine Covino says:
    January 10, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    […] I would hand express or use the Haakaa before I nursed so he could get more hindmilk. The Haakaa was a godsend, you can read more about it here on my New Mama Must-Haves post! […]

    Reply
  4. 2018 Recap & Looking Ahead to 2019 - Christine Covino says:
    January 11, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    […] New Mama Must-Haves […]

    Reply
  5. Six Tips for Successful Breastfeeding After a C-Section - Christine Covino says:
    February 2, 2019 at 12:59 am

    […] Haakaa Pump, also for all the leaking! Read more about how I used this awesome must-have HERE. […]

    Reply
  6. A Letter to Me Before You - Christine Covino says:
    April 8, 2019 at 3:48 am

    […] no matter how glorious early motherhood might look on social media accounts, they’re all going through the same messy newborn crap. […]

    Reply

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Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
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Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
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2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
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I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
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In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
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1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
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3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
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5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
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6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
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7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
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8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
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9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
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10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
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You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
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At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
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I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
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#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
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Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
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The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
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So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
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To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
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Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
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If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
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So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
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Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory
This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Do This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Don’t let the cute faces fool you, it’s HARD to get a toddler to stay still and a newborn to not cry🤣 But we snapped a couple gems, these two quite literally light up my life💖 http://liketk.it/34ldF

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