2018 – The Birth of A Lot of Things
I barely have the words to express my feelings about this past year. 2018 was one for the books – the birth of my son, the birth of a mother, the birth of my blog. It was exciting and challenging and beautiful and messy and the hardest I’ve ever worked both in my personal and professional life. I still have so much to learn and I’m only just getting started.
Navigating my new identity those first few months as a mother was, quite frankly, a shit show. Alex and I had been married for 2.5 years and living together for five years, I had been managing the family farm store for the last eight years and for 31.5 years I had never had to take care of anyone but myself (ok well we’ve had a fur child, our dog Doobie, for 8 years).
My lifelong dream has been to become a mother and I had had the best pregnancy – healthy, uneventful, I loved feeling the baby move and I was just in awe of my body. People thought I was insane but I literally had never felt more beautiful in my entire life.
Fastward to the birth (read more HERE), Luca was delivered via c-section so my first days and weeks of motherhood were also coupled with trying to heal from major surgery (not to mention 36 hours of labor). Plus mourning the labor and delivery I had hoped to have.
Those first three months, for me, were defined by loneliness and isolation. And eventually, guilt in my longing for something more than just my new role as a mother.
I had no idea what I was doing as a new mother, but at least I had Alex by my side. Then he went back to work and it was just Luca and me. Just Luca and me nursing for hours on end and when he wasn’t nursing he was crying for reasons I still can’t figure out. It was eventually deemed colic. But for whatever reason, he was an extremely uncomfortable baby for the first three months of his life and cried more hours in the day than not. Those first three months, for me, were defined by loneliness and isolation. And eventually, guilt in my longing for something more than just my new role as a mother.
It’s funny how before you become a mother you have ideas and expectations of how it will be and the kind of parent you will be, and then how extremely different it is once it actually happens. If there is one thing I will remember for the next time around it’s to have zero expectations, ZERO. One of those things for me was that I’ve always wanted to be a mother and I always thought I would be fulfilled in just that role, content in being your everyday stay-at-home mom.
I quickly realized I needed something more, something for just myself, something that I could build from the ground up and call fully my own
I quickly realized I needed something more, something for just myself, something that I could build from the ground up and call fully my own (not unlike my flesh and blood child I guess!). So when Luca was around three months I decided to get back into blogging. I had started a blog back when I was studying abroad in Italy (2006) but it never went anywhere, it was more of just a creative outlet for me to document my experiences – no real purpose or niche. But now I felt called to actually share, I had a message and a purpose, plus I already had a mini mom tribe behind me over on Instagram.
Let’s back up, Luca is my pride and joy, I am constantly at a loss for words when it comes to expressing my love for him. There should be an entirely different term for a Mother’s Love because I feel like “love” alone does not begin to describe it. He is my flesh and blood, he is my heart beating outside my body. Becoming a mother was the BEST thing that happened to me this year and it inspired me in a way I never expected. I savor every second I spend with Luca and I am so thankful I am able to (mostly) stay home and raise him.
My blog is another kind of baby, another thing I am molding and shaping into what I hope it can become. I have big plans for my little corner of the internet and it starts right here in 2019. Last year proved to me that with enough passion and big dreams (and coffee), anything is possible. I started blogging in June and by September had a few legitimate collaborations with big brands. One of those brands was quite literally a dream brand (QVC) and one that I am looking forward to working with again in 2019.
My goal in starting my blog and Instagram was (and is) to be a resource and a relatable “friend” to anyone out there going through the same stuff.
None of it has come easy, I have worked insanely hard and it has taken a lot of sacrifice, but this is the happiest I have ever been. Thank you for being here and joining me on this journey through early motherhood and starting my blog. My goal in starting my blog and Instagram was and is to be a resource and a relatable “friend” to anyone out there going through the same stuff – the good, the bad, the ugly. Reading blogs like this and following IG accounts like this really helped me survive those first three months and I can only hope to be that person for someone else!
Anyway, I am not big on New Year resolutions (I’m more of a #newyearsameme girl) but I do love a good list of goals. I have a few for both my personal and professional life that I am sharing below. And I also wanted to share a little
Most Popular Blog Posts of 2018
Best IG Posts of 2018
- Stick strongly to my niches – motherhood, gardening, life and style
- Connect with more of YOU guys – I love chatting via IG stories, emails or comments here on my blog!
- Publish 1-3 blog posts a week
- Get a blog post reposted or featured on a bigger site (how cool would that be!?)
- Start a monthly newsletter for my biggest supporters! You can get on the list now by signing up in the sidebar to the right!
- Family – Be present and off my phone when Alex gets home from work and on the weekends when he is off.
- For the home – Purge and organize. This hasn’t really been done since we moved in 6 years ago, definitely time for a fresh start as far as our “things” go. I am hoping to watch that Marie Kondo Netflix series everyone is raving about!
- For the garden – Grow and maintain more varieties of cut flowers than last year and share a full tutorial of how we plan/set-up and maintain it
Without further adieu, here are my favorite photos from our first year with Luca!