Dear Mama Who Would Rather Skip Christmas This Year
Dear Mama Who Would Rather Skip Christmas This Year,
I see you.
I am so sorry for whatever it is you’re going through – strained finances, divorce, job loss, illness (mental and physical), addiction, infertility, loss of a loved one – I am so sorry for the pain you’re feeling this holiday season.
All grief is unique, everyday is different. There is no timeline.
It’s ok if you don’t feel like being jolly this year. It’s ok if you’d rather stay home than go to a holiday party. It’s ok if you’d rather not go out at all. It’s ok if you turn off the radio every time a Christmas song comes on and if you’d rather not watch Christmas movies right now.
It’s ok if you didn’t send out Christmas cards. It’s ok if you did send out Christmas cards. It’s ok if you can’t take the pregnancy and birth announcements that fill your feed this time of year.
It’s ok if you’re trying so hard to give your Children a happy Christmas but they see you crying.
It’s ok if you look at that one ornament on the tree and it makes you fall to your knees.
Let it out.
It’s ok if it all feels like too much. And if you just want this week to be over.
I have not walked in your shoes but my heart is hurting this season too and I want you to know it’s ok. I see you. I’m so sorry.
I know the grief is omnipresent, I know you won’t just “get over it” or “move on.” I think of it more like waves, always there, sometimes soft and calm, sometimes a raging fucking storm. The feelings welling up and rolling back out. Excruciating sorrow with small moments of joy in between.
It’s ok to feel that joy.
You might feel alone (I do) but you are not alone. I acknowledge your pain and your feelings. No one can take that pain away, maybe ever, but it is acknowledged. Know that I am so so sorry.
It has helped me to write things out and speak my truths over these last few weeks, if you want to leave your story below in the comments I encourage you to do so. I would love to hear it❤️
This photo was taken the morning we said goodbye to Liam. We knew we were losing him. It’s been hard to look at these photos but more and more I am so thankful I took them.