Leaving this here so it has a place to live forever, this was a post I did on Instagram last week that seemed to resonate with many women. I don’t know who needs to hear it but your feelings are valid. If you lost a pregnancy and you are thinking about what week you should have been, or maybe the hardest, your approaching due date, you are not alone. And it’s ok to feel it, it’s GOOD to feel it and let it out. I would be 34 weeks right now and not a day goes by that I don’t think about my baby.

THIS SHOULD BE A BUMP PIC

This should be a bump pic💔

I should be 34 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

I should be putting the finishing touches on Liam’s nursery.

I should be installing a second car seat.

I should be publishing a blog post about what’s in my hospital bag.

Instead I can only imagine these alternate realities, because my baby died.

This is my reality.

I’m feeling empty this week, both physically and emotionally.

And exhausted. Grief is exhausting. It can be so complicated and heavy.

Not a Friday goes by that I don’t think of what week I should be. I’m acutely aware of the milestones. Everything that should have been.

I try to let these thoughts and feelings in, acknowledge them, and let them go. It’s easier said than done. It’s taken a lot of therapy and meditation, and it no, it doesn’t always work.

I still have days where I’m a literal non-functioning mess. I try my best to cope but sometimes I just need to be fully under my rain cloud.

It’s fucking hard. But it’s ok to fall apart. It’s good to acknowledge the hard feelings.

If you too have experienced baby loss I am so sorry. It’s a shitty club to be a part of, nothing I or anyone says can take your pain away. But I can relate and I can validate your feelings.

The ptsd is real, the anxiety is real, your feelings matter, your story matters, and

YOUR👏FEELINGS👏ARE👏VALID👏

Be gentle to yourself.

And if you know a mom who has ever lost a baby, check on them tonight. No matter how long it’s been. Let them know you’re thinking of them, that you don’t have the words but you are sending them your love❤️

See the original post on Instagram from 2/27/2020 here.