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Rollin with my homies😜 we had a blast trying ou Rollin with my homies😜 we had a blast trying out the @cadillac XT6 for the week, it’s the perfect midsize suv with room for the whole family - giving you a closer look over in stories! Thank you to Cadillac for gifting us this experience!!
Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
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You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
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I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
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#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
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Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
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The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
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So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
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To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
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So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory
This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Do This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Don’t let the cute faces fool you, it’s HARD to get a toddler to stay still and a newborn to not cry🤣 But we snapped a couple gems, these two quite literally light up my life💖 http://liketk.it/34ldF
Just love this little Christmas corner with all of Just love this little Christmas corner with all of our stockings🌲🥰 Anyone else getting snow tonight!? I’m excited! I love the snow and I love seeing the magic in Luca’s eyes, he just lights up over the littlest things and it makes this season so much brighter for us✨
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I linked everything I could in the @liketoknow.it app or head to the link in my bio for my blog and holiday home decor post with all my winter home inspo❄️ http://liketk.it/345gU
Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more prepared for recovery this time and it’s going a lot smoother. I shared some of my postpartum favorites/must haves in stories today as well as on the blog (link in my bio)! ⁣⁣⠀
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Also shared some tips I wish I knew the first time around like to not feel ashamed to ask for help or guilty for taking care of myself. That’s my biggest tip —⁣⁣⠀
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Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
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I can’t stress this enough. It’s the norm in our society to focus more on the baby than the mom but during the fourth trimester she needs care and attention now more than ever. You can’t take care of your baby without taking care of yourself first❤️⁣⁣⠀
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Some other postpartum tips:⁣⁣⠀
🌿take all the pictures and take pictures with you in them, they will be absolute treasures to look back on, especially the ones where you look like crap (I promise you don’t actually look like crap, it’s real life though, which are the best to look back on)⁣⁣⠀
🌿you may not know what you’re doing but listen to your instincts, the mama instinct is strong and it’s REAL⁣⁣⠀
🌿take home all the things from the hospital (pads, disposable undies, abdominal binder, all of it)🙌⁣⁣⠀
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If you are postpartum after loss you’re still postpartum but it’s even harder without your baby. Cabbage leaves, peppermint essential oil and a tight sports bra to help get rid of your milk supply. Find a grief counselor and a support group, validation and acknowledgement is everything. I’ve been there and it’s the literal worst, be gentle with yourself. You are still a mother❤️
📷 @jessicamicciophoto
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Christine Covino

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Container Garden Tips: How To Keep Your Flowers Blooming All Summer Long

July 12, 2020 / Gardening

This post may contain affiliate links.

Container Garden Tips: How To Keep Your Flowers Blooming All Summer Long

Creating decorative containers for the home has been a long-time passion of mine. Since I started managing our family’s farm and garden center about 10 years ago I realized I had an eye for container design. Plus I got to order all the annuals and tropicals for our store so I had a field day bringing in and playing with the coolest of the cool flowers and plants!

Over the years I learned some tricks in container design and how to keep my planters lush and blooming all summer long. Below are my tips and tricks, some of which I’v already shared if you follow along on Instagram! Spoiler you guys, it’s not as hard as it seems!

9 Tips for Happy Container Gardens

1. Don’t Overcrowd Containers

Make sure not to overcrowd your space! We’re talking annuals here, I’ll save my veggie container tips for a separate post!

Most annuals need about 6″ between each other in order to thrive and not get choked out, remember there is a limited amount of their space so competition for nutrients can become fierce with crowding!

Crowding also reduces airflow between plant material which invites damp conditions and therefore fungus and disease. Not good! So I definitely suggest following this rule and giving your plants the space they need, trust me they will fill in in no time.

2. Plant in Odd Numbers

Designing and planting in odd numbers, whether in containers or in landscape bed, is just more pleasing to the eye! It’s the golden rule of landscaping and I personally follow it 100% because it’s fool-proof!

3. Thriller, Filler, Spiller Theory

Further diving into design theory, this is the simplest (and easiest to remember) method that I follow and then I go from there!

Thriller: Your central, focal-point plant. This is going to be your tallest plant, one that grows upright with spire-like flowers usually. You’ll want plant this one it in the middle of the container. Check the plant tag to find out how tall it should grow, steer clear of cutting flowers that can grow *too tall* (like zinnias, cosmos, sunflowers and cleome – these are better suited for the in the ground!). Some of my favorite thrillers are Angelonia, Salvia,Dracena, fountain grasses, Canna, Agastache, Coleus, Fern, Caladium, Begonia.

Filler: These are your filler plants, the one you’ll plant around the base of the thriller to fill in with more flowers. Some fillers I recommend New Guinea Impatiens, Fuchsia, Begonia, Perilla, Ageratum, Strawflower, Lamb’s Ear, Vinca Rosa, Marigold and Pelargonium.

Spiller: These are your trailers, any cascading-form plant that will beautifully spill over the rim of your planter. Some of my favorite spillers are Calibrachoa, Supertunia, Alyssum, Lantana, Verbena, Torenia, Lamium and Evolvulus. And for non-blooming trailers I recommend Sweet Potato Vine (SO many beautiful foliage colors!), Creeping Jenny, Ivy (especially Algerian Ivy), Helichrysum and Vinca Vine.

The combo of these three hits all the requirements to make an aesthetically-pleasing designer planter for your home, all your friends will want to know your secrets!

4. Good Drainage is Key

GOOD DRAINAGE! I can’t stress this enough!! I recommend planting in a nice light potting mix (add vermiculite if needed!) and placing crocking before adding the soil (crocking is the use of rocks, pebbles, gravel, wood chips, broken terra cotta or any other larger material to promote water drainage from the soil).

Having drainage holes at the bottom of your planters is also key – plants need water but they don’t like to sit in it. Stagnant water causes root rot which will kill your plants almost instantly. If your container has no holes add some with a drill if the material is conducive.

I personally like planting in good old terra-cotta pots because in addition to normal drainage, the water can actually evaporate through the permeable ceramic material and (yes you’ll have to keep your eye on watering more) but the plant will be much happier not to sit water logged!

5. Learn How to Water

I won’t BS you, watering is an acquired skill. I’l never tell you “water this plant this often” (except for indoor plants) because there are just too many variables in nature! It doesn’t take long but you need to become accustomed to your specific plants’ needs and the outdoor conditions.

If you’re a newbie I suggest starting with a water meter, or more simply every day just sticking your finger down a few inches into the soil to feel the moisture level. With the vast majority of plants if the soil is still moist don’t water. I’ve seen over-watering kill more plants than under watering!

Don’t be afraid to touch the soil and your plants, its therapeutic for you and the plants and also gets you to know what they need!!

Some other quick watering tips:

  • Check your plant twice a day until you become familiar with their soil moisture and water requirements.
  • When watering water in the morning, it’s best for them to drink as the heat of the day comes on versus overnight (think of them like humans!).
  • Water the SOIL, plants don’t need showers, their roots need to drink (again, like humans!).
  • Keep track of weather – rain of course means no need to water but things like wind can affect water frequency too! On windy days plants dry out quicker so they will need more of your attention.
  • If your container dries out and the plant begins to wilt give it water and move it out of the sun (as much as possible) immediately, they recover much better in the shade when stressed from being dry!
  • Be intuitive! Gardening really is intuitive by nature, listen to your plants, touch your plants, touch the soil, they’ll show you what they need!

6. Location: Sun/Shade Requirements

Know the plants’ sun requirements and group similar ones together. For example you wouldn’t put a sun-loving succulent with a shade-loving fern.

It’s as easy as reading the tags that your plants come with! They will tell you exactly how much sun is needed for that plant to thrive.

If a tag says shade or part shade put it in a spot where it gets the more delicate morning sun and then afternoon shade. If a tag says full sun put it in a spot where it gets at least 6-8 hours of sun and *mostly* afternoon sun.

7. Girls Need to Eat!

FEED THEM. An annuals job is to bloom all summer and provide our homes with color, they need to be fed! The only fertilizer I have used that actually works is slow release Osmocote Plus. I mix it right into the soil ONE TIME right when I plant and thats literally it! It feeds all my girls then entire summer and keeps them lush and healthy!

8. Prune Your Plants: Deadheading & Haircutting

Deadhead!! Many, if not all, annuals require deadheading in order to keep producing blooms. Deadheading is removing the spent flowers, this tells the plant you want MORE flowers so keep picking, the more you pick the more flowers you’ll get!

Haircut as needed! Sometimes my container annuals can start to get huge and the trailing ones will even start to trail on the ground. This may look beautiful but it can actually start to stress the plant and it will get leggy at the base which doesn’t look great. To promote more bushiness at the base of the plant I will do a quick trim, literally like a haircut, where I trim a few inches from the tips!

Also! Trim away any yellowing or dead/decaying foliage, if left on the plant or soil surface to rot it could attract fungus.

Remember, clean plants are happy plants!

9. Check Daily for Pests

First of all start with well-drained, healthy soil. Rotting debris can breed fungus and invite pests so make sure you’re cleaning out any decaying plant matter on the soil surface!

Even the healthiest plants will get pests at some point during the growing season, especially if it’s been a particularly hot and humid summer. My advice is to check daily and diagnose/treat as needed.

My go to pest sprays are my own DIY spray (recipe here!) and neem oil. Both have helped me immensely in the garden to both deter and preventive infestations as well as take care of them as they happen.

There are of course exceptions, like beetles UGH. If you saw my Instagram stories you know we battled a Japanese Beetle army on our roses this year. If you’re like me and you choose not to use toxins in the garden your options are to hand pick them off and kill them (we throw them in a bucket filled with hot water and a few drops of dish soap) and continue to spray neem oil.

What’s in My Container Garden?

Scroll down below for plant lists of what I’m growing in my containers this year!

Front Porch Sun Containers:

We have two big whiskey barrels on the front porch I planted up with my favorite sun-loving annuals because it’s south facing and thats where we get the most sun! In addition to the two big planters I have one pot with a beautiful caladium, it’s tolerating the part shade well! And two smaller matching pots with white angelonia, white alyssum and white calibrachoa. Below is what I have in the two whiskey barrels!

  • Salvia ‘Wendy’s wish’
  • Sweet Potato Vine ‘Sweet Caroline’
  • Lobularia (alyssum) ‘White Stream’
  • Petunia ‘Supercal Sunday Pink’
  • Calibrachoa
  • Fountain Grass ‘Fireworks’
  • Verbena ‘Lanai Vintage Rose’ and ‘Lanai Peach’
  • Agastache ‘Kudos Coral’
  • Perilla Magilla’

Small Sun Container:

  • Coleus ‘Alabama Sunset’
  • Sweet Potato Vine ‘Sweet Caroline’
  • Calibrachoa white
  • Salvia
  • Helichrysum p. ‘Splash’

Back Patio Shade Containers:

I have two big whiskey barrels on our back porch where we get morning sun until around 12pm and then shade the rest of the day. These are the plants between the two planters!

  • Caladium ‘Candidum’ – one red/white, one green/white
  • Fern: Microlepia strigose ‘Lace Fern’
  • Fern: Pteris ‘Albo-lineata’
  • Coleus ‘Alabama Sunset’
  • Fuchsia ‘Mrs. JD Frederick’
  • Torenia ‘Summerwave Silver’
  • Begonia ‘Coccinea Sinbad’
  • Begonia ‘ Linda Dawn’
  • Begonia ‘Pegasus’
  • Helichrysum p. ‘Splash’
  • New Guinea Impatiens ‘Sonic White’
  • Algerian Ivy
  • Plectranthus
  • Rex Begonia (separate container)

Not pictured, small shade planter:

  • Coleus ‘Dark Star’
  • Fuchsia ‘Mrs. JD Frederick’
  • Begonia ‘Coccinea Sinbad’
  • New Guinea Impatiens ‘Sonic Light Lavender’
  • Creeping Jenny

Succulent Container:

  • Hens & Chicks
  • Grapotoveria ‘Fred Ives’
  • Orostachys ‘Hardy Duncecap’

Herb Containers in the Garden:

Herbs in the garden are a GREAT idea – they attract much needed pollinators as well as repel away insect pests and small animals!

  • Basil ‘Rutgers’
  • Basil ‘Red Rubin’
  • Thyme
  • Tarragon
  • Oregano
  • Lavender
  • Rosemary
  • Nasturtium
  • Savory (summer & winter)
  • Assorted mints and sages

All right that’s the post!!

I hope these tips are helpful in your quest to grow long-lasting summer blooms in containers! Please as always feel free to reach out with questions and I’d love to hear more about YOUR  gardens in the comments!

Visit my Amazon Storefront HERE to check out all my garden supply recommendations including the Osmocote fertilizer and organic neem oil spray I mentioned!

Looking for more gardening posts? Check these out!

9 Tips for a Low Maintenance Veggie Garden

DIY Raised Garden Beds

How to Map, Plan & Plant Your Veggie Garden

Complete Guide to Growing and Harvesting Peonies

Cut Flower Garden Planning

Seed Starting for  Beginners

Gardening Supplies Favorites

Tips for Long-Lasting Lilacs

Mums Tips and Tricks

And more coming soon! Sign up for my newsletter to stay up to date on new gardening posts!

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Rollin with my homies😜 we had a blast trying ou Rollin with my homies😜 we had a blast trying out the @cadillac XT6 for the week, it’s the perfect midsize suv with room for the whole family - giving you a closer look over in stories! Thank you to Cadillac for gifting us this experience!!
Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
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You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
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I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
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#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
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The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
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So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
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To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
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Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
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If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
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So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory

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