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Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory
This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Do This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Don’t let the cute faces fool you, it’s HARD to get a toddler to stay still and a newborn to not cry🤣 But we snapped a couple gems, these two quite literally light up my life💖 http://liketk.it/34ldF
Just love this little Christmas corner with all of Just love this little Christmas corner with all of our stockings🌲🥰 Anyone else getting snow tonight!? I’m excited! I love the snow and I love seeing the magic in Luca’s eyes, he just lights up over the littlest things and it makes this season so much brighter for us✨
.
I linked everything I could in the @liketoknow.it app or head to the link in my bio for my blog and holiday home decor post with all my winter home inspo❄️ http://liketk.it/345gU
Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more Third postpartum, second c-section, a little more prepared for recovery this time and it’s going a lot smoother. I shared some of my postpartum favorites/must haves in stories today as well as on the blog (link in my bio)! ⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Also shared some tips I wish I knew the first time around like to not feel ashamed to ask for help or guilty for taking care of myself. That’s my biggest tip —⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
Take care of yourself.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I can’t stress this enough. It’s the norm in our society to focus more on the baby than the mom but during the fourth trimester she needs care and attention now more than ever. You can’t take care of your baby without taking care of yourself first❤️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Some other postpartum tips:⁣⁣⠀
🌿take all the pictures and take pictures with you in them, they will be absolute treasures to look back on, especially the ones where you look like crap (I promise you don’t actually look like crap, it’s real life though, which are the best to look back on)⁣⁣⠀
🌿you may not know what you’re doing but listen to your instincts, the mama instinct is strong and it’s REAL⁣⁣⠀
🌿take home all the things from the hospital (pads, disposable undies, abdominal binder, all of it)🙌⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If you are postpartum after loss you’re still postpartum but it’s even harder without your baby. Cabbage leaves, peppermint essential oil and a tight sports bra to help get rid of your milk supply. Find a grief counselor and a support group, validation and acknowledgement is everything. I’ve been there and it’s the literal worst, be gentle with yourself. You are still a mother❤️
📷 @jessicamicciophoto
How I’ve eaten dinner for the past 6 weeks😂 I How I’ve eaten dinner for the past 6 weeks😂 I basically live in this spot from the hours of 5pm to 10pm, either nursing or calming the babe — toddler not pictured but equally as demanding🤪 — cluster feeding is hardddd!! I know it doesn’t last forever. I know I will miss these days. It’s still hard. And nope, don’t need to supplement, milk supply is killin it. More encouragement, less unsolicited advice. Sometimes we just want to voice the struggles without being told what to do✌️
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- The Blog -

2020 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale Info & Tips

August 3, 2020 / Beauty & Style

Check out this post for info on prepping for the year’s biggest sale – The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale! This post may contain affiliate links.

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Hey guys happy Monday! Hope you all have a wonderful start to the week, I’m ready to get back into the garden after a nice rain over the weekend. I’m also prepping some content for the annual Nordstrom anniversary sale!

If you’re new around here Nordstrom hosts a BIG sale called the #Nsale. This is one of my favorite sales of the year because you can get brand new fall items marked down lower than what you will on Black Friday.

Below are some facts and tips about the sale to help get you ready!


What is the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale?

The Nordstrom Sale is basically a two week sale where Nordstrom marks down brand new Fall items before the Fall season starts. After the two weeks are up, these items go back to their full, original prices.  What makes this sale unique is that NEW arrivals are put on sale BEFORE the season instead of at the end of the season.

Nordstrom Cardholder’s are able to get early access to this sale a week early. I will NEVER tell you you need a credit card, you do not need another credit card! Personally, Nordstrom is one of the only retailer credit cards I own because it makes sense for ME. Meaning I shop there frequently enough that building up the points and using my reward notes is worth it.

With the Nordstrom Card you receive points on all purchases and get major rewards and early access to sales throughout the year.  Sign up or read more HERE to become a cardholder and to get early access to this sale.


Important Nordstrom Anniversary Sale Dates

 

July 24 to August 18, 2020
Sale preview available to all!

PREVIEW THE SALE!

 

August 7, 2020
Early Access for Ambassador status Nordy Club members

August 13, 2020
Early Access for Insider status Nordy Club members

This is essentially All Nordstrom cardholders so if you sign up for the Nordstrom Credit Card before this date you can still shop early. This is the part of the sale where most of the items sell out.

August 19, 2020
Public access to the sale
This is when the sale is open to the entire public. Any one, including people who do not have the Nordstrom Card, can shop during this part of the sale.

August 30, 2020
This is the LAST DAY of the sale. On August 31st, everything will go back to it’s original, full price.


Why is the Nordstrom Sale Worth it?

Basically this is a great time to buy solid, good quality, staple pieces that will take you through the entire year into spring.  I was able to purchase $35 workout leggings that I still love to this day (these leggings were originally $70).  I also love this sale for the SHOES! This is when they release all of the cute Fall boots and booties but hat almost 30-50% off the original price! The boots I purchased from this sale I wore through the entire winter.


Tips for the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

  • Sometimes they restock items that are sold out! The only catch is that they may restock them AFTER the sale ends. Many items unfortunately sell out during the first week of the sale when only Card Members can shop.
  • Figure out what you want to buy first. I usually think about staple pieces first, loungewear/PJs and then big ticket items like carseats or strollers. As far as clothing, my biggest tip is to first shop for shoes, neutral cardigans/jackets, and activewear.  Find pieces that can mix and match with pieces already in your wardrobe!
  • Stay tuned to my blog on updates for the sale and items that have been restocked.
  • You can also stay tuned on my Instagram and my Stories for updates.
  • Shop the sale when it opens! Don’y wait until the afternoon or weekends to shop, things sell out quickly and in store can be crowded.
  • You can order online and pick up at your local Nordstrom if you don’t want to wait/feel safer that way! It usually will be ready within a few hours.
  • Nordstrom offers FREE SHIPPING and FREE RETURNS.  You are always better safe than sorry purchasing the item before it sells out because you can always return it or exchange it (even months!) later.

I can’t wait to share with you all my favorites from this sale! Stay tuned to my stories and blog to shop my favorites online!


Favorite Brands to Shop During the NSALE

Click any brand name to preview their sale collection!

  • Barbour
  • Barefoot Dreams
  • BeautyBio
  • Blondo
  • Børn
  • BP
  • Briogeo
  • Calson
  • Converse
  • Free People
  • Herbivore Botanicals
  • Hunter
  • Leith
  • Madewell
  • Nuna
  • Spanx
  • Supergoop
  • T3
  • The North Face
  • Tucker & Tate
  • UppaBaby
  • Vince Cumto
  • Zella

Bestsellers from the 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!
Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Spanx Faux Leather Leggings // $65 (reg. $98)

THE HOLY GRAIL FOR UNDER $65!!!!!

These are the BEST, no BS, they are so worth the hype! Super versatile and suck you in nicely. Highly recommend snagging these now for this price!

Check out THIS POST where I styled them multiple ways for fall!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!
Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Barefoot Dreams CozyChic Long Lite Cardigan // $66 (reg. $114)

The 2020 price is $14 cheaper than 2019 WOOO!!

Oh just the coziest and softest cardigan you’ll ever feel! I gravitated towards this one the most, I wear my normal size!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Kennebunk Blanket // $25 (reg. $40)

SOFTEST ever and only $25! Plus they have a TON of colors to choose from! I have the light pink peony (of course haha) and white.

Cubic Zirconia Ear Crawlers // $25 (reg. $40)

Legit wear these everyday, I have the rose gold!

NUNA RAVA Convertible Car Seat // $375 (reg. $500)

I absolutely love NUNA carseats – not only are they safe (both structurally and fabric-wise, aka no harmful chemicals) but they’re also super sleek looking – pretty and functional just what I like! I know that’s probably not important to everyone but I won’t lie, I like a good looking car seat. But ALSO they are one of the safest brands on the market, we did a ton of research before investing in NUNA and I’m so happy that’s the brand we went with!

NUNA PIPA Infant Car Seat // $315 (reg. $420)

The NUNA infant car seat is also one of the safest out there and also it’s THE LIGHTEST (5.7lbs.).

Plus, check out how it gets secured (the base to floor metal leg in addition to the normal base). The metal leg that braces against the floor was a big factor that made me choose Nuna hands down, no other brand offered that extra safety feature!

I could talk for hours about NUNA but I won’t bore you, read about the awesome extra features on the product page!It's time for the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2019 and I have the ultimate guide to help you navigate the sale!

Madewell Remi Mules // $50 (reg. $88)

Slightly different leopard print for 2020 but also available in a blush pink which I love!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Leith Ribbed Midi Dress // $46 (reg. $69)

Slightly different cut for 2020 and only available in black but SO GOOD!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Zella Zip Hoodie // $50 (reg. $79)

Zella Live-In Straight Leg Yoga Pants // $30 (reg. $64)

(hoping these go on sale during early access this year!)

I’ve owned Zella’s live-in leggings for a while now and even have their maternity leggings (and LOVE them, they’re also part of the sale🙌) but I’ve always wanted to try these straight leg pants. They did not disappoint, I’ll be wearing these nonstop this winter, they are SO soft and stretchy!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Nordstrom Brand Soft PJs // $40 (reg. $65)

SO SOFT!! For real. And super lightweight so you can actually sleep in them. I’m in love! They also come in a short-sleeve nightgown version! For sure grabbing another set this year during the sale!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Barefoot Dreams Blanket // $120 (reg. $180)

Lovelovelove this soft and dreamy blanket!

PRO TIP: If this blanket comes back into stock and you’ve been eyeing it, grab it in WHATEVER color they have! That’s what I did and I just plan on exchanging it for the color I actually wanted after the sale when it comes back fully into stock! Nordstrom is AMAZING with returns, even months later. It’s one of the reasons I’m a loyal customer!

Also pictured: Kennebunk blanket and heart pillow (sold out)

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!
Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Avec Les Filles Mustard Water Resistant Raincoat // $130 (reg. $179)

Available in black only for 2020!

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Calson Plain Tee // $13 (reg. $25)

Yay, it's here! My 2019 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale must haves - items that I kept - just in time for public access!

Suede Moto Jacket // $77 (reg. $118)

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  1. 2020 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale Picks - Christine Covino says:
    August 9, 2020 at 11:31 am

    […] NSALE (Nordstrom Anniversary Sale) is traditionally a great time to snag fall wardrobe pieces as well as home, beauty and baby gear […]

    Reply

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Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I Mental health check in, how’s everyone doing?? I shared how I’m doing in stories today, we made it through the holidays but it was a lot harder than I thought. I’m sruggling in a few ways. Struggling on social media with the comparison game, struggling in general as a stay at home mom of two, struggling with a fussy two month old that doesn’t sleep, struggling that I’m unable to do things for me right now (like even go to the bathroom or shower alone), struggling with the omnipresent grief and anxiety, struggling with guilt — guilt over not giving my oldest enough attention, over wanting him to start back at school again, over not being happy and grateful 24/7.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If I learned anything last year it was to accept my feelings as they come and not label any as “bad,” so that’s what I’m working on, that’s my daily reminder. As my friend said to me today, this is hard, it’s the trenches!! Be gentle. It’s hard and wonderful all at once.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Check in below👇⁣⁣⠀
❤️ - I’m feeling great⁣⁣⠀
🧡 - I’m feeling ok⁣⁣⠀
💛 - I’m surviving⁣⁣⠀
💚 - I’m struggling⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s show up and support each other and remind each other we’re not alone in these hard days🖤
Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. M Took this week to unplug and reflect. Wild year. Mixed feelings about a new year is not foreign to me, this is how I felt last year going into 2020. 2019 was Liam’s year, it was the worst but it gave me a perspective I’ll never lose and one I carried into 2020.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Through hardship you grow.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
2020 saw more focus on me, on my mental wellness + on my family. Less worrying about what people think of me, less apologizing, more doing what makes me happy (or gets me through the day). More of that in this space also. I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea so might as well be me, ALL of me💯✌️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I’m not a resolution or goal setter when it comes to a new year, I try to focus on reflecting, releasing what doesn’t serve me any longer + manifesting/using affirmations to bring the good. Still working on what those are exactly for 2021!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
In the meantime I wanted to share some of my big 2020 memories and wish you all love, light, peace and healing in the new year✨⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
1-2. Our new family unit🧡⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
3-4. The birth of our daughter, Elora, the best thing to come out of 2020. She is the brightest light.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
5. Luca’s love for his sister + once again navigating a “new normal” in our family.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
6. Pregnancy after loss. Amidst a global pandemic. While wrangling a toddler. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it was pure survival mode (+ still is postpartum).⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
7. Growing the most beautiful dahlias and diving more into gardening than ever before, mostly as a form of therapy, AND sharing it all with you guys — connecting through our gardens was one of my favorite parts of the year + growing this community has brought me so much joy!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
8. Finding my groove and launching my oils business — never thought I would make more than my blogging income + be able to pay off debt😭⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
9. Luca turning 2 and weaning + potty training at the same time — his decisions, not mine!⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
10. Liam’s due date in April. I remember wishing more than anything for the chance to deliver him healthy and full term, pandemic and all. We miss our boy + are moving forward WITH him, we’ll love him forever from afar❤️
Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and Chaotic and beautiful and hard and exhausting and awesome❤️ exactly how I want to remember this day. We’re sending you big love this Christmas, complete with our best “ewie smiles” (Luca’s term for silly faces🤣). I love how Doobie snuck his nose in there too!! Swipe for some special moments/things of the day❤️❤️
⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ ⋒ 8 weeks of Elora Leigh ⋒⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
You have been here in our arms for almost two whole months and my heart still skips a beat when I wake up and see you next to me. You are truly here. I still can’t believe you’re real and you’re ours.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
At 8 weeks you’re not such a tiny babe anymore, you’ve doubled your birth weight and grew four inches — a testament to how much you love to eat😅🍼 (pic four is day 3 for reference!). Your chubby cheeks are also a testament to your love of milk😍😍 The super sleepy newborn days are over😭 You’re waking up more and more, crying more too (see pic three🤪), but still giving us good stretches of sleep (4-5 hours) at night. You don’t love cuddling with me as much as your brother did, I’m still in denial over that! And you’ve broken out of the swaddle, sleep sackin it up already! Luca loves you more than anything and is always wanting to hold you and help me clean your “spiggups,” he calls you “mista baby” and it killssss your dad and I every time🤣⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I feel like you just arrived but also like I’ve known you forever. Happy 8 weeks of life Elora, you are so loved💗⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
#8weeks #eloraleigh #watcheloragrow
Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard wh Unpopular or popular opinion? Gratitude is hard when you’re struggling.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Gratitude, when forced, feels like shame. As the wise @sitwithwhit said the other day, it’s  the new toxic positivity — if we’re going to feel sad, then we better be grateful too.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
The pressure on the bereaved to feel and express gratitude in their grief is REAL.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here is my reminder — It’s ok to *not* balance out your pain with gratitude. ⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
To me, when gratitude is forced I feel inauthentic and ashamed. When everyone is talking about gratitude journals and how to “focus on the good,” I feel left out.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Let’s normalize expressing pain and grief without following it up with “BUT... gratitude.” It’s like saying that makes our pain seem more bearable from the outside. I get it. Grief is uncomfortable. Pain is ugly. It’s easier to look away. It’s easier to engage if the griever ends their thought on a positive, that’s the pressure. But what if I don’t feel positives in my pain?⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
If gratitude helps you to process your grief, that is really great. Everyone grieves differently. I spoke about this in stories today and 100s of you wrote in saying you felt heard. I’m happy it resonated, I’m always nervous to express these opinions but there are ALWAYS people out there who relate and need to hear it. You are my people❤️⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
So here are your reminders if you’re grieving or struggling this holiday season, or just reflecting on a hard year:⁣⁣⠀
❤️Be gentle with yourself, your feelings are valid.⁣⁣⠀
❤️You don’t owe anything to anyone, especially in your grief.⁣⁣⠀
❤️It’s ok to feel shitty, period. No ifs, ands, buts or justifications necessary.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Love you guys🤟🤟🤟⁣⁣⠀
📷: @mymotherhoodstory
This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Do This photo shoot took years off my life😅🤪 Don’t let the cute faces fool you, it’s HARD to get a toddler to stay still and a newborn to not cry🤣 But we snapped a couple gems, these two quite literally light up my life💖 http://liketk.it/34ldF

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