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Happy national gardening day 🌱🌸 may you have Happy national gardening day 🌱🌸 may you have a bountiful crop this year, whatever you grow! ((Peony tip: feed early-emerging shoots with a high phosphorus fertilizer for strong, lush blooms!)). Find more gardening tips on the blog, link is in my bio 🌿
Liam ♡ In an alternate universe we would be cele Liam ♡ In an alternate universe we would be celebrating your first birthday. You should be crawling around, playing, laughing and eating too much cake today.⁣⁣⠀
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You should be here.⁣⁣⠀
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My sweet boy I miss you more than words, I ache to hold you. We walked the orchard and planted flower seeds in your memory. We got winks from you in the form of the earth waking up, all the yellow blooms, including your magnolia which couldn’t have had better timing. It’s comforting to see you say hi.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
And still, you should be here.⁣⁣⠀
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He was here for a time. He existed. He mattered. He deserves to be celebrated.⁣⁣⠀
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I loved him from the second I saw the +test. I fell deeper in love every time I saw his energetic body bounce around on the ultrasound screen, I have all the blissful bump photos and I have the memory of his sweet little kicks. God I miss those kicks.⁣⁣⠀
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My love did not end when he died.⁣⁣⠀
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Liam’s ashes, a few scan photos, my memory and an index card with his footprints are all that remains. I both hate that this is all I have left and am eternally grateful that I have them at all.⁣⁣⠀
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I found some comfort today but these anniversaries are also hard. I relive the trauma. The terror, shock, fear, disbelief, agony of being told your baby is dying. So deep and so crushing. Part of me died in that moment, part of me will never be the same again.⁣⁣⠀
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There is nothing in this world more painful than living without your baby. You feel the heaviness, the absence, the longing for them constantly. The grief is always there, it ebbs and flows but it changes you to your core. You adapt to feeling the constant emptiness, your aching heart, your soft but heavy eyes, the shortness of your breath, that lump in your throat.⁣⁣⠀
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And yet, I feel immensely fortunate to have carried you for every moment of your life. I will never regret the time we spent together, loving you, carrying you, feeling you, celebrating you and envisioning the life you would have had. I will carry the insatiable longing to hold you until the day I die. You will always be my baby. You will always be missed. I will never stop loving and mothering you, my sweet Liam James ❤️
How did we do with the bow!? It’s growing on me How did we do with the bow!? It’s growing on me I think 🥰😍
April 3, 2021 • just us this Easter weekend 💗 April 3, 2021 • just us this Easter weekend 💗
I’m not quite sure how she turned 5 months in th I’m not quite sure how she turned 5 months in the blink of an eye 🥺 My Elora. We are doing great ❤️ we’re nursing and bedsharing and babywearing and contact napping and I’m literally soaking in every moment with her. Months 4 and 5 have been the best yet. My body knows what to do and I follow her cues. We’re super in tune and I feel like it’s making both of us happier humans.⁣⁣⠀
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There is this unspoken narrative in our society that somehow attachment between mom and baby is a weakness, a crutch. I say f that, it’s one of the most beautiful strengths that exists in this universe. Period.⁣⁣⠀
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Mama if you’re reading this and need some validation or reassurance, I got you. It’s ok to cuddle and rock and nurse and sing your baby to sleep. Follow your instincts, tune out the noise, feel empowered in your motherly intuition and find your confidence in that. It is so incredibly liberating.⁣⁣⠀
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I know it’s a confusing landscape out there for new moms, I hear you, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and stress that you’re not doing something “right” or that your baby is “broken.” I’m not saying motherhood is easy for me, it’s the hardest (and best) thing I’ve ever done, but when women have the support they actually need and feel empowered in motherhood, that’s next-level world-changing stuff.⁣⁣⁣⠀
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Mama knows best, never forget it ❤️
Pregnancy after loss (PAL). Wrapping up this month Pregnancy after loss (PAL). Wrapping up this month of #pregnancyafterloss awareness by answering my two most asked questions ——⁣⁣⠀
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How did I know I was ready to try again and how did I survive my PAL?⁣⁣⠀
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Well friend, I have no definitive answer for you. I don’t know how I knew I was “ready,” I just knew I desperately wanted to be pregnant again, and I do not know how I survived.⁣⁣⠀
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Contrary to what I thought prior to having my own PAL experience, I was not “better” or “healed” or “over” my baby’s death once pregnant again. I think the only thing I could do was lean into the conflicting feelings and accept that they coexist for me (grief and joy, for example).⁣⁣⠀
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I want to share with you the two thoughts that did help ——⁣⁣⠀
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1. We were not replacing our baby (Liam), we were adding a sibling. Luca would be a big brother, as would Liam. My heart would expand for another child, not an “instead” child. Truly believing and accepting this was very helpful to me in my moments of guilt.⁣⁣⠀
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2. This was the most profound realization for me: That I would love this baby whether she lived or died. How did I know this? Because the grief I feel for Liam is love. I love my babies from the moment I know they exist. So during my PAL I thought, if this baby died too it wouldn’t change that love. I embraced and accepted that. I think it’s actually what allowed me to take these maternity pictures two weeks before she was born. It wasn’t hope, it was that I loved her and would want to remember our time together either way.⁣⁣⠀
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So maybe that is how I was able to survive. One day at a time, one thought at a time, facing the hard truths, embracing the pain of loss. Because, I’ll be honest, hope was hard for me.⁣⁣⠀
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Do I have magical advice? No. PAL was hard, it was a shitstorm of emotions and I feel like I just held on for dear life. Do whatever you have to do to survive, just know you are not crazy for the feelings. You are human 🤍

More resources can be found in my PAL highlights, reels and on my blog (link in bio) under ‘baby loss.’
This sweet babe is growing so fast!⁣⁣⠀
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Our beautiful @shoplovedua bassinet has been one of our most used baby items this time around! Functional and timeless, it is an item that grows with your babe, AND it’s discounted 25% today — head over to their page to shop 🥳⁣⁣⠀
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📷: @mymotherhoodstory
Growing through it 🌿 I was thinking back and re Growing through it 🌿 I was thinking back and reflecting on the past 365 days this morning. It’s been a rollercoaster to say the least.⁣⁣⠀
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Early March 2020 I found out I was pregnant again after back to back losses. I was hopeful and relieved but also doubtful, disconnected and terrified. I spoke in “ifs” not “whens.” I felt guilt and resentment and anger but also was so incredibly grateful.⁣⁣⠀
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We were quickly approaching Liam’s edd in April, a time that I deeply dreaded, and not even one week later went into full lock down pandemic mode.⁣⁣⠀
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I was a total wreck. Things felt veryyy out of control and uncertain.⁣⁣⠀
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I did the only thing I could do, I focused on what I could control. I continued therapy, started using tools like essential oils to help me stay grounded + present and threw myself full force into gardening.⁣⁣⠀
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I quite literally and physically GREW through my anxiety, pain and grief last year. My garden kept me grounded and sane and helped me feel connected to my body and my heart, out in the garden was one of the only places I felt safe letting my mind wander and imagine a living baby in my arms.⁣⁣⠀
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Growing veggies and flowers for my family was within my control and was exactly what I needed in this situation of heavy uncertainty — uncertainty both within myself and in the world.⁣⁣⠀
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March 2020 and March 2021 Christines are very different, I’ve realized the journey isn’t TO healing, healing IS the journey, it’s doesn’t ever end. I’m proud of where I’m at and humbled to think about where I’ve come from 💗
Elora Leigh is 4 months old!⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣⠀ MY Elora Leigh is 4 months old!⁣⁣⠀
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MY LORD. The joy and light this little girl brings our family🥺 If you would have told me last year that in one year’s time we would have had a baby and be living in a pandemic idk which one I would have believed less. Probably the baby. And yet here we are. Surviving through a pandemic with a toddler and a baby. AND A BABY.⁣⁣⠀
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My pregnancy with Elora was one of the most mentally challenging things I’ve ever done. Pregnancy after loss is extremelyyyy difficult (for reasons I will go into on a future post). Pregnancy after loss during an unexpected pandemic.... intense to say the least.⁣⁣⠀
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I could not speak in absolutes about the future, as grateful and as hopeful as I was I could barely speak about being pregnant again. Yes, I allowed myself feel all the things but in a way I’m only just now starting to process everything I felt during her pregnancy (thank you therapy🙌). For much of it I was in denial that I would actually get to bring a living baby home. The trauma and ptsd from losing Liam was ever-present. I was next level terrified she too would die before I ever got to meet her. I was holding my breath and hanging on for dear life.⁣⁣⠀
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So every single time I look at this girl I am still in disbelief that she’s here. She is here and she is healthy and she is thriving. The miracle that she is is not lost on me, the miracle that ANY baby is born healthy and alive is not lost on me. Every single day with my kids is a gift, as much as I lose my f*cking mindddd🤪 every day with my babies is a gift.⁣⁣⠀
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These days we’ve learned to celebrate the simple things and the little things, and today that’s four beautiful and chaotic months with our sweet baby girl💕
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Christine Covino

- The Blog -

Baby Must Haves for 6-12 Months

January 9, 2019 / Mom & Baby

This post may contain affiliate links. Original photography by Victoria Gloria.

It's hard as a new mom to determin what you need for babies, here is my baby must have 6-12 months that have made my life so much easier! Check it out!

Ok mamas, it’s time for part two of my baby must-haves post series! I got so many comments and messages about my Newborn Essentials post requesting to do the same thing for the next stage of baby-hood so, here you have it! I love sharing my favorites Must-have baby stuff with you guys because if it works for me, hopefully, it can work for other mamas out there!

Let’s get right into it, I explain below each specific item why they made my list of must haves! And remember, click any PINK WORD or image to shop the product!

Baby Must-Haves for 6-12 Months

Feeding Baby

NumNum Pre-Spoon GOOtensils

We chose to do a combination/hybrid approach when introducing solids to Luca. I share more about this in Luca’s 8-month update post BUT, these utensils are my favorite! Luca feeds himself things like peanut butter, oatmeal and yogurt now – messy as all hell, yes – but he can actually use these utensils and successfully get food in his mouth. It’s also super cute to watch!

When feeding him purees these soft-tip spoons are my favorite! And we, of course, are huge fans of puffs and creamies – currently also using these to teach him to sign for “more” and “thank you” which has been fun – a post will be coming on this later so stay tuned!

While we’re on the topic of food, a must-take course (if you’re into that!) I’d like to recommend is the Infant BLW course by Feeding Littles! We did the course around 7 months and it was a total game changer for our confidence when introducing solids and they have a course for toddlers as well! Use code CHRISTINECOVINO for $10 off (making it just $49)!

Bapron Bib

Next, on our Baby Must haves for 6-12 months are these bibs. They are my favorite bibs and also came highly recommended by Judy and Megan at Feeding Littles! They cover most of the body (like an apron) and come in really beautiful and fun prints!

ChooMee Pouch Tops

An absolute baby must-have if you feed your baby pouches! We started Luca with pouches recently and these special tops allow him to handle it himself while keeping it mess-free! The contents of the pouch can only come out when the top is sucked on – genius!!

Munchkin Miracle 360 Trainer Cup

Luca’s favorite cup! It took a little while for him to figure out (and me too if I’m being honest LOL) but we love them now! Also super easy to take apart and clean (dishwasher safe) and promotes dental health as far as teeth development! That being said, Luca also likes sipping through a straw so I have used these as well!

Peg-Perego Siesta Highchair

Another item that has been on my baby must-have’s list since the first few months (see my Newborn Must Haves post). Once we started solids with Luca he has loved sitting up in his highchair and joining us at the dinner table!

It's hard as a new mom to determin what you need for babies, here is my baby must have 6-12 months that have made my life so much easier! Check it out!

Baby Playtime

Fisher-Price Deluxe Kick ‘n Play Piano Gym

This play mat was also on my Newborn Essentials post because we started using it around 6 weeks! Still going strong at 11 months – it’s versatile, packable, affordable and it’s one of the things we’ve used every single day!

Play Gym by Lovevery

The piano gym I described above was/is our number one play mat, however, I am adding this one to the list not as a must-have but as a “nice-to-have.” Before he could sit up and play in his own (8-9ish months for Luca) I needed to switch him between different play gyms/jumper/chairs. It was very nice to have a second activity center at my disposal! Plus I love this one because it comes with a helpful book that guides you through the different developmental phases of the first year and gives you tips on how to help your baby with each skill.

Fisher-Price Go Wild Jumperoo

We started Luca in this jumper around 5 months and so far it seems with each passing month he loves it more and more. Now at nearly 11 months old, he’s definitely outgrowing it but he still has so much fun so I’m just going with it! We also have this great portable jumperoo that we travel with or keep it at my parent’s!

Fisher-Price Sit-Me-Up Floor Seat

I wasn’t sure which category to put this in because it is SO useful! This basically replaced the boppy lounger for us once Luca started to roll. It’s a safe place I can pop him in if I have to do something quick. He started using this chair around four months, around when he could hold his head up well. The seat has enough structure to support the rest of baby’s body. We are still using it at 11 months!

Zany Zoo Wooden Activity Cube

Seeing a trend here?? LOTS in the toy category haha – anything to keep baby entertained! I literally set up stations and just keep switching him to a new place every 10-15 minutes so he stays happy and doesn’t get bored. Anyway! This activity cube is AWESOME. I bought it as a Christmas present back in October but quickly realized we needed to break it out asap. There are so many great features, right now Luca sits and plays with it but soon will be standing to play. I know this will be another long-lasting item!

“Indestructible” Books

These books are THE BEST. Literally indestructible! So you can let your baby do whatever they will to them – Luca is very hands-on and these have just been perfect for us!

Yay! Mats Baby Play Mat

We broke this mat out around the time Luca started sitting up and playing on his own (8-9 months) and not only has it been a great, safe space for Luca to play it LOOKS pretty in our home as well! It’s the most aesthetically-pleasing play mat I have found yet. And since it’s made from large connecting pieces it’s also super easy to pack up if need be!

O-Ball Go Grippers Toys

Honestly, anything O-Ball has been a huge asset since birth! He STILL plays with these and that’s saying a lot because over the last 11 months Luca has grown out of a lottt of things, especially in the toy dept!

Recently I have been focusing on getting him educational toys because he is learning and growing so quickly, here are a few other toys and books we are loving lately:

  • This Leapfrog Learning Remote
  • These stacking cups
  • This wooden sorting cube
  • These Mega Bloks
  • Will be getting Luca this table activity center soon!

It's hard as a new mom to determin what you need for babies, here is my baby must have 6-12 months that have made my life so much easier! Check it out!

It's hard as a new mom to determin what you need for babies, here is my baby must have 6-12 months that have made my life so much easier! Check it out!

Baby Sleep

Nested Bean Zen Sack Classic

We’ve been around the block when it comes to swaddles and sleep sacks!

Luca was in the Love To Dream Swaddle until about 3.5/4 months and then we tried out the Merlin Magic Sleep Suit for about a month or so, and then the Zippadeezip (he did not like having his hands covered), but we ultimately settled on the Nested Bean Zen Sack. The bean pouch on his chest helps him feel safe and secure (it emulates your hand on his chest, it’s not heavy at all just comforting!) and it also allows him to wiggle around freely.

Not to worry if your babe is a tummy-sleeper, they can wear the sack backward! In the summer we dress him in a short-sleeve onesie and for the winter, long sleeve, footie PJs. We keep our house at 70 degrees and he is plenty warm with just the sack!

Marpac Classic White Noise Sound Machine

Still our favorite sound machine! Turning it on is part of our nightly bedtime routine. Also, check out the portable and rechargeable version – this comes everywhere with us!

We bedshare with Luca (more on this in my upcoming cosleeping post) so there’s not much else we do for the sleep category except use a diffuser! This one is my favorite!

Baby Gear

Lillebaby Carrier

I was so sad when Luca grew out of the wrap (Solly was our fave) but we transitioned him right into this carrier and it was so smooth! I love it because you can wear it six ways, I normally wear him facing in but it’s nice because it also fits Alex (6’1″/220lbs.) and he would wear him outward-facing. This makes my must-have list for many reasons but number one, I LOVE babywearing, and number two, I worked every day at our family farm during September and October for apple harvest season and I was able to have Luca right there with me, it worked so well!

Summer Infant 3D-Lite Umbrella Stroller

We actually just purchased this stroller so I can’t speak to it from an in-use perspective yet but it came very highly recommended by friends and family! (Not to mention it has a 4.5-star rating on Amazin from over 1k reviews!!). An umbrella stroller, in general, is a must-have in my opinion if you are traveling or want a lighter-weight stroller option. and this one is for sure a winner for under $80!

Nuna Rava Convertible Carseat

Luca is a tall baby and as of 10 months as outgrown the infant car seat (cue mama tears!! Milestones are always so bittersweet!). We used the Nuna Pipa infant car seat and LOVE it (and the brand) so much. Its super easy to install (legit 5 minutes!), I love that he seems cozy and supported (especially the head area), the seat is ventilated so he doesn’t get super hot (this is important to me because Luca is a sweaty baby lol) and it meets all of our safety expectations! Not to mention aesthetics are not compromised!

Boppy Pillow

This pillow is so versatile! I did not use it as a nursing pillow (I used the Nook) but it’s a nursing pillow and a positioner. We used this from moths 6-10 religiously to prop Luca up until he was stable enough to sit on his own!

Summer Infant Portable Playard

This is what we use instead of a pack n’ play! We kind of just skipped over the pack n’ play phase altogether but this is the one we have in case you are interested! But I love this playard because it’s a safe place to put Luca down, its big aka lots of space for him to scoot around and it’s extremely light-weight/portable/easy to pop up and down!

Fisher Price 4-in-1 Sling ‘n Seat Tub

We have used this since birth and it is one of our long-standing favorite baby must-haves because of that! When Luca was younger we placed him in the sling portion which was cozy and relaxing, but now that he wants to sit up we’ve removed the sling and he sits right in the tub part! We also love the toy accessories that came with the tub! For shampoo/body wash we use Tubby Todd and this rinser bath cup!

Infant Optics DXR-8 Baby Monitor

This is the baby monitor we use – no complaints here! And apparently, over 26,000 other people love this monitor so much to rate it 5 stars on Amazon!

Some other random must-haves for baby care I just want to quickly mention are:

  • Essential Oils – These have truly changed my life over the last year in every possible way (baby/cleaning/beauty) and I am SO thankful I was introduced to them!
  • Fridababy NoseFrida – Absolute must-have for when baby gets a cold!
  • Oogiebear Baby Nasal Aspirator – Scoop those boogers out!!
  • Garlic-Mullein Ear Drops – These prevented Luca from getting an ear infection with his first cold (consult your pediatrician first!!)
  • Gerber Soother Probiotic Drops – Healthy gut, healthy immune system!

Shop All My Baby Must Haves 6-12 Months Below!

Plus some extra items that were “nice-to-haves”

It's hard as a new mom to determin what you need for babies, here is my baby must haves 6-12 months that have made my life so much easier! Check it out!

It's hard as a new mom to determine what you need for babies, here is my baby must haves 6-12 months that have made my life so much easier! Check it out!

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Comments

  1. Caren says

    January 10, 2019 at 2:38 am

    Lots of good stuff- We have a bunch of those things for our nine month old! My mom has been most impressed by the whale 🐳 thing for the bath to keep the water out of his eyes haha! I thought that was funny coming from a Grandma.

    Reply
    • christinemcovino says

      January 10, 2019 at 2:53 am

      Haha oh my gosh too funny! It really is a great invention because it’s curved perfectly to their heads!! The simple things right? LOL, thank you for the comment!

      Reply
  2. Sandra says

    January 10, 2019 at 3:12 am

    The sit me up was such a go to for us during this time! My daughter loved sitting up and watching others and momma loved being hands free! Haha!
    And yessss nose freida all the way!!!
    And the wonkey donkey! Haha! I need that book! That YouTube video of the grandma reading it is literally *the* best! 🤣

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Newborn Essentials - Baby - Christine Covino Blog says:
    January 10, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    […] If you have an older baby check out my Baby Must-Haves for 6-12 Months! […]

    Reply
  2. Ten Ways to Easily Babyproof Your Home - Christine Covino says:
    January 15, 2019 at 5:04 am

    […] I asked my Instagram community last week for some tips on how to babyproof and, as always, they did not disappoint with their feedback! Thank you so much if you were one of the people who responded, I’ve rounded up the recommendations below. If you’re looking for other helpful baby items check out my recent post Baby Must-Haves Months 6-12! […]

    Reply
  3. Luca at 8 Months - Christine Covino Mom & Baby says:
    June 17, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    […] few months back (which are both MUST-READS for sure!!). I am also publishing a post next week on my Must Haves for Months 6-12, so be on the […]

    Reply

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Meet Christine!

Click here to learn more about me!

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Happy national gardening day 🌱🌸 may you have Happy national gardening day 🌱🌸 may you have a bountiful crop this year, whatever you grow! ((Peony tip: feed early-emerging shoots with a high phosphorus fertilizer for strong, lush blooms!)). Find more gardening tips on the blog, link is in my bio 🌿
Liam ♡ In an alternate universe we would be cele Liam ♡ In an alternate universe we would be celebrating your first birthday. You should be crawling around, playing, laughing and eating too much cake today.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
You should be here.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
My sweet boy I miss you more than words, I ache to hold you. We walked the orchard and planted flower seeds in your memory. We got winks from you in the form of the earth waking up, all the yellow blooms, including your magnolia which couldn’t have had better timing. It’s comforting to see you say hi.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
And still, you should be here.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
He was here for a time. He existed. He mattered. He deserves to be celebrated.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I loved him from the second I saw the +test. I fell deeper in love every time I saw his energetic body bounce around on the ultrasound screen, I have all the blissful bump photos and I have the memory of his sweet little kicks. God I miss those kicks.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
My love did not end when he died.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Liam’s ashes, a few scan photos, my memory and an index card with his footprints are all that remains. I both hate that this is all I have left and am eternally grateful that I have them at all.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
I found some comfort today but these anniversaries are also hard. I relive the trauma. The terror, shock, fear, disbelief, agony of being told your baby is dying. So deep and so crushing. Part of me died in that moment, part of me will never be the same again.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
There is nothing in this world more painful than living without your baby. You feel the heaviness, the absence, the longing for them constantly. The grief is always there, it ebbs and flows but it changes you to your core. You adapt to feeling the constant emptiness, your aching heart, your soft but heavy eyes, the shortness of your breath, that lump in your throat.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
And yet, I feel immensely fortunate to have carried you for every moment of your life. I will never regret the time we spent together, loving you, carrying you, feeling you, celebrating you and envisioning the life you would have had. I will carry the insatiable longing to hold you until the day I die. You will always be my baby. You will always be missed. I will never stop loving and mothering you, my sweet Liam James ❤️
How did we do with the bow!? It’s growing on me How did we do with the bow!? It’s growing on me I think 🥰😍
April 3, 2021 • just us this Easter weekend 💗 April 3, 2021 • just us this Easter weekend 💗
I’m not quite sure how she turned 5 months in th I’m not quite sure how she turned 5 months in the blink of an eye 🥺 My Elora. We are doing great ❤️ we’re nursing and bedsharing and babywearing and contact napping and I’m literally soaking in every moment with her. Months 4 and 5 have been the best yet. My body knows what to do and I follow her cues. We’re super in tune and I feel like it’s making both of us happier humans.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
There is this unspoken narrative in our society that somehow attachment between mom and baby is a weakness, a crutch. I say f that, it’s one of the most beautiful strengths that exists in this universe. Period.⁣⁣⠀
⁣⁣⠀
Mama if you’re reading this and need some validation or reassurance, I got you. It’s ok to cuddle and rock and nurse and sing your baby to sleep. Follow your instincts, tune out the noise, feel empowered in your motherly intuition and find your confidence in that. It is so incredibly liberating.⁣⁣⠀
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I know it’s a confusing landscape out there for new moms, I hear you, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and stress that you’re not doing something “right” or that your baby is “broken.” I’m not saying motherhood is easy for me, it’s the hardest (and best) thing I’ve ever done, but when women have the support they actually need and feel empowered in motherhood, that’s next-level world-changing stuff.⁣⁣⁣⠀
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Mama knows best, never forget it ❤️
Pregnancy after loss (PAL). Wrapping up this month Pregnancy after loss (PAL). Wrapping up this month of #pregnancyafterloss awareness by answering my two most asked questions ——⁣⁣⠀
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How did I know I was ready to try again and how did I survive my PAL?⁣⁣⠀
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Well friend, I have no definitive answer for you. I don’t know how I knew I was “ready,” I just knew I desperately wanted to be pregnant again, and I do not know how I survived.⁣⁣⠀
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Contrary to what I thought prior to having my own PAL experience, I was not “better” or “healed” or “over” my baby’s death once pregnant again. I think the only thing I could do was lean into the conflicting feelings and accept that they coexist for me (grief and joy, for example).⁣⁣⠀
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I want to share with you the two thoughts that did help ——⁣⁣⠀
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1. We were not replacing our baby (Liam), we were adding a sibling. Luca would be a big brother, as would Liam. My heart would expand for another child, not an “instead” child. Truly believing and accepting this was very helpful to me in my moments of guilt.⁣⁣⠀
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2. This was the most profound realization for me: That I would love this baby whether she lived or died. How did I know this? Because the grief I feel for Liam is love. I love my babies from the moment I know they exist. So during my PAL I thought, if this baby died too it wouldn’t change that love. I embraced and accepted that. I think it’s actually what allowed me to take these maternity pictures two weeks before she was born. It wasn’t hope, it was that I loved her and would want to remember our time together either way.⁣⁣⠀
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So maybe that is how I was able to survive. One day at a time, one thought at a time, facing the hard truths, embracing the pain of loss. Because, I’ll be honest, hope was hard for me.⁣⁣⠀
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Do I have magical advice? No. PAL was hard, it was a shitstorm of emotions and I feel like I just held on for dear life. Do whatever you have to do to survive, just know you are not crazy for the feelings. You are human 🤍

More resources can be found in my PAL highlights, reels and on my blog (link in bio) under ‘baby loss.’

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